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dear diary / entry one

 Date : Tuesday 9th March 2019 
Time : 21.23pm
Location : Home @ sofa
Dear diary, 
My first entry and hopefully not my last. I have had a whirl wind of emotions hit me the last few weeks, and I don't feel like it's ending anytime as of yet. The mixture of the emotions is getting on top of me and I don't know how to let them out. I've spoken about the problems, not all the problems are based on myself, and I have constant worries and anxiety surrounding me. It's like a big fuzzy cloud. I've got all the excitement about owning my very own home with my partner, but I also have the never ending carousel going round and round. I want to get out of this fuzzy mess, exercise helps but not enough. I'd love to indulge in all the chocolate and comfort food but that only makes me feel crappy afterwards. I can talk about it, but like I said. It doesn't help. Anyway, I'm home alone and enjoying my own self care. I've had a bath, indulged hair treatments in my hair and a good skin care regime. Now to dive back into Our Planet with David Attenborough.

Date : Wednesday 10th March 2019
Time : 14.12pm
Location : Work desk
Dear diary,
(I probably should be working, but I've got five where no one can see my computer screen, so..) Today has been a lot more positive. No negativity has come my way as of yet, but I've still got half the day to go as of yet. I've been recently adding to-do lists to my Instagram stories, and they're certainly making me feel like I have my shit together a lot more. If I show people my list, at least it looks good by ticking them off at the end of the day. I have no way of getting out of the list of jobs, that way. I've discovered Wayfair's app and I am going to spend my afternoon adding lots of bits to my wishlist. I am loving looking for home inspiration, I feel like it's my little escape. Something I can truly look forward to. I'm going to head out on a walk when I'm home. Just for twenty minutes, get some more steps in and breathe in the fresh air. I've got back into doing my Wednesday Wishlist's with my followers too and I thoroughly enjoy creating the polls and seeing the results. That allows me to just focus on something different for a change. I'm desperate to finish some more of Our Planet with David Attenborough too, and also Celebrity Bake Off. What a life I live! I do go outside with my evenings too, just a glass of wine and tv sounds a lot better on the sofa to me.

Date : Thursday 11th March 2019
Time : 07.31am
Location : Kitchen table

Dear diary, I've just been on a morning run! I can't believe it, but i actually ran most of the way. I'm so rubbish at running, but that doesn't make me want to give it up. (Yet!) I love taking in the morning frosty air, seeing the sun rise higher in the sky and hearing the birds wake up. I managed 4km, i've got race for life coming up in the summer and i'd like to feel fit enough to run the whole thing if i could. I'd feel like i'd have completed something for myself as well as doing it to raise money for others. Talking about race for life, i need to start thinking of more ideas to raise more money. I love doing things for other people and feeling like i'm making a difference. I've got work to complete today which is always rubbish on a Thursday. It's always long and never ending. Then i need to come home and do a whole load of tidying up and re-arranging. I'm having a night without a phone too, so hello downtime. I cannot wait for you to come along. Hurry up 3pm finish. 

Date : Friday 12th March 2019
Time : 07.29am
Location  : Kitchen table  (again)
Dear diary, no morning run today. I was aiming for it, but my body was too tired. I didn't manage to go back to sleep though, so a 6.30am morning alarm wasn't a good idea what so ever. I'm hoping today goes a whole lot quicker than what yesterday had installed for me. I have a warm brew beside me and also my latest Instagram post on refresh. Just patiently hoping and waiting for all the likes this Friday morning, why am I so obsessed with Instagram? I like to share my outfits, I like to share my 'what I'm up to' captions, I like to see the support from others that I've never even met before, (and I probably never will.) I find it pretty amazing how platforms like Instagram can make you feel that way. It can also make you think that everyones lives are pretty easy to live by. Instagram has such a power where people forget, that theres real people behind these accounts. Just because they're sharing all their 'high lives' moments, doesn't mean they don't have daily struggles. I struggle, but also have days when I forget all about those struggles. I had a shit day Monday, but today I'm feeling pretty good. (Accept the fact that my body is already ready for a nap today.) Just because I didn't tell you about that said shit day on Instagram, doesn't mean I didn't have one. Just remember Instagram is like the front cover of a book. You were always told to never judge a book by it's front cover. The same goes for people. 


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