dealing with divorced parents at the age of 19

Dealing With Your Parents Divorce

Taylor, I’m sorry but your Dad and I are having a divorce. He’s left.

I was hanging around with some friends in our new cars as we recently passed our tests, and I got the unexpected phone call from my Mum.

I was 19 years young, and I worked for my Dad in his office for his haulage company. I just got with my new boyfriend and I finally felt a little safe in life.

I was in utter shock, immediately sobbed and hurried to my brothers to have someone to talk, cry and listen to. With two brothers, I was pretty close with them. We’d always have family time on Sundays and everyone would just be at home, chatting, eating and chilling. It was my favourite day of the week, because we never had to arrange it. It always just happened.

I was close with my Dad, and still am. He use to pop into work every Saturday morning and I would go along with him. He worked, I sat and picked my goodies out of the vending machine, I’d draw anything and everything. I would be wheeling myself around on one of the desk chairs from one side of the office – to the other. Then we’d always finish it with popping into the TY Beanie Baby shop to pick my newest edition. He’d sing The Sun Has Got His Hat on every morning before school to get us out of bed. He would make me soldiers every morning with my toast, and cut off the crust so I would never get those hairs on my chest. (He always told my brothers to eat their crust because it grew hairs on your chest.)

My Mum, I’m as close to as I am to my Dad. We’d shop every week, we’d have Costa Coffee dates like it was an everyday essential. We would get ready together just so we can chat, dance and sing to Beyonce. She’d pick me up and drop me off to school everyday, even if she just got out of bed and had to wear a leopard print dressing gown. She’d keep all those secrets that I could never tell Dad, because I was a sweet angel. She’d distract my Dad so I could go to that pimps and hoes party round the corner,  dressed like I was going to The Meal Girls Halloween Party and she was just that cool Mom.

My parents were and still are the best.

I had a happy, stress-free upbringing.

I remember going home that night after the phone call, and just spending the evening crying, sobbing, smoking and crying. Not just from me, but from my Mum too.

It’s the utter shock it’s happened, it may have been brewing between the two of them behind closed doors. But it’s happened and your telling people about it, and that’s when it’s all real and it has actually really happened.

It’s always been them together. It’s always been Mel and Steve.

The years until now have been difficult. I’ve always had those people and friends telling me that they still love you. You want them happy, as long as they’re happy – you should be happy. I’ve always questioned whether I’m too much of a drama queen over the situation, I’ve always wondered if it really should effect me as much as it did at the age of 19. But my parents were perfect in my eyes.

Sometimes I’d take that type of talk in. where people told me that I should be happy if they are. But, sometimes I would just ignore the gibberish that was coming out of their traps.

Fast forwarding onto today.

Yes both of my parents are happy and both of my parents have moved on.

At the beginning, I thought my parents were being selfish and not trying hard enough, I really did.

But now, I think that they were in love and they still are just with other people with more in common. As long as they’re happy and content then I really should be too. Those people who I hated when they told me, they were right.

So whether your parents have just split up or you’re finding it hard. Whether your 10 years old or 27. It’s always difficult.

From the day you were born to the day that it happens, it was always your Mum and Dad.

They shared them stories with you that made you want a relationship and a happy life like theirs.

But if your parents split, they’ll still always be your parents.

Sometimes I was harsh and sometimes I was honest, but most of the time I was just there.

But if I had one thing to tell my parents is that, it did effect me and I did suffer. I always looked like that strong girl where both parents could talk to me about anything and everything, and I was totally old enough and sensible to deal with it. But truth be told, I wasn’t and I had those days where I couldn’t deal with it.

I hated having to face reality. I didn’t like what was going on but I had to get on with it. I didn’t want to have to face my Dad at work the following day/week. I didn’t want to go home and find out that my parents had moved onto new people. I felt uncomfortable about meeting the new partners.

I felt a lot of things, but I only pretended that I felt happiness for the both of them.

It was a struggle.

A real struggle.

T. x

Dealing with your parents divorce

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3 Comments

  1. October 11, 2018 / 9:42 pm

    I’m so happy you put it into words for yourself.
    It must be like a little weight lifted being able to post this.
    Well done for getting your blogging back too!
    Emily xx

  2. October 11, 2018 / 11:21 pm

    Wow. I can’t imagine what you have gone through. It sounds so difficult. I’m so glad that you were brave enough to talk about it xx

  3. Erin
    October 13, 2018 / 10:14 pm

    It’s always just been me and my mum, so I really cant relate, but I can see how stressful it must be to go through, for everyone involved 🙁

    Erin || MakeErinOver

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